The dirt track theory of dating

My daughter has a friend who is dating her first boy at the tender age of eighteen, and, Emily is concerned because her friend is dating such a nerdy young man. This left me no choice but to explain the dirt track theory of dating to her. You see no one in his right mind would put a rookie in a million dollar stock car or an open wheel racer. Everyone in the big league of racing starts on the dirt track.
The dirt track is great, you wear a used fire suit and, your friend’s paint your car with a spray can. Sure you can’t go as fast as the big cars, but you can slide sideways through the corners, and wipe the mud off your face at the end of the day. Dating should be the same way. You start out maybe the persons a little bit of a hooptie, but if you treat them well and learn all the tricks and you might be able to move up to the next level. Every time you move up you get a faster car, better sponsors, and maybe someday you reach that one person you want to drive around with for the rest of your life.
The thing that most people overlook though is forgetting to enjoy driving the mud track, working on a shoestring budget, tinkering on your car after work and hoping for the best. I have to admit that I have spent more than one session on the dirt tracks myself. Yeah the cars weren't pretty but man the wrecks were spectacular. I am talking no restricter plate, preroof flap, end over end, with a broken fuel line spewing burning gasoline through the air behind me, and the crowd waiting breathlessly until I lowered the window net and signaled that my heart was still beating,(I do love red headed southern women)amen.
I am old enough to know now that some of us never race at the Brickyard. There are those among us who are best suited to the world of outlaws where you drive as fast as you can slide into the corners and have giant airborne end over end wrecks, where tires injure poorly protected spectators, yeah that’s my kind of romance right there. Down in the deep south and the midwest we choose to believe we can do anything with just what God gave us there will never be a beer sponsoring us but by golly we will run what we brung until we go home to meet Number 3 amongst a chorus of angles singing Merle Haggard cheating songs.
Whatever track my daughter and her friends wind up on I hope they are happy and having fun.