just another manic Monday

Something is bothering me this morning, a little nagging pain left over from last week and I have to get it off my chest or lose my fresh start for the week. Last week New Jersey Governor Chris Christie ordered the statehouse flags flown at half-mast for Whitney Houston and vetoed a gay marriage bill.  These two things are bad decisions in my opinion, but what really bothers me is the fact that I can’t figure out a way to combine the two events into some sort of an outrageous rant 

This is bad, this is really bad, this means the anti-psychotic medications are working and I am becoming normal. Horror of horrors. Who wants to be normal in this day and age? In today's mixed up world men are supposed to share and explore their emotions. Real men don’t share their feelings! I mean I have perfectly good feelings, this morning I feel like eating pancakes; does that mean I should share that with you? Noooooooooooo. Feelings are private, they are meant to be kept inside, bottled up, until after we accidentally drink half a fifth of Scotch with our buddies.

I blame the mess this world is in on Phil Donahue. He ran around in a dress telling it was alright to cry, and the American divorce rate has been on the rise ever since. Women don’t want to see a man cry, they want to feel safe and protected. Women want consistency and character in a partner, men who go around weeping all the time don’t portray the kind of best friend a good woman wants. It’s time for America to sack up. Men listen to me, if you feel you must share your feelings, then for God’s sake go to the bar and share them with your buddies so you can be properly ridiculed. That is nature’s way. 

Oh and Chris Christie, if you’re reading this, for Pete’s sake let the gays get married and prove you’re a real man. A real man would never take a fork away from a toddler headed for a light socket; after all he’ll only do it once. Let them learn from their own mistakes, instead of sharing the painful lessons of ours in the hope that they will learn. They won’t. That’s how real men roll.